At Liquor2Door, we understand how sacred it is to gather and honor the life of someone we’ve lost. In these moments, words hold great weight—especially when they’re raised with intention. Whether you’re planning a small, intimate memorial or a traditional funeral reception, a thoughtful toast can become a beautiful tribute to the life that was lived.
Let’s explore how to craft respectful, heartfelt toasts that bring people together in remembrance, using the right tone, tradition, and of course, the right drink.
Why We Toast at Funerals: A Tradition Rooted in Connection
The ritual of raising a glass in memory of someone is not new—it has roots in nearly every culture. Historically, toasts were meant to honor the spirits of the dead, especially in ancient Rome and Greece. In some cultures, libations—alcohol poured out in honor—were offered to the deceased, symbolizing continued connection beyond death.
Today, we carry on this symbolic gesture with more personalization. Whether it’s a favorite wine, a smooth whisky, or a crafted non-alcoholic option, toasting allows us to pause, reflect, and remember together. It’s a moment of unity, of shared grief and shared joy, as stories and memories surface.
Choosing the Right Words: Sincerity Over Perfection
When it comes to speaking at a memorial, the pressure to “get it right” can feel overwhelming. But in truth, what matters most is sincerity. A good toast doesn’t need poetic flourish—it just needs heart.
We’ve found that the best tributes often start with a personal anecdote. Was there a special laugh you shared? A quirky habit they had? A phrase they always used? Speaking to who they were and how they made us feel resonates far more than listing accomplishments.
Here’s a quick structure we find helpful:
- Start with gratitude – thank those who came and acknowledge the purpose of the gathering.
- Share a memory – personal stories ground the toast emotionally.
- Speak to the legacy – what did this person teach you? What do they leave behind?
- Raise your glass – end with a simple, unified phrase (e.g., “To Sarah, who taught us all to find joy in small things”).
Remember, a funeral toast isn’t about performance—it’s about connection.
Selecting a Meaningful Drink: Reflecting the Life They Lived
The drink you choose for a memorial toast can be more than just a beverage—it can reflect the personality or preferences of the person being remembered.
If they were a lover of red wine, a specific vintage might become the centerpiece. If they enjoyed a nightly whiskey, raising a neat pour might feel just right. And if they lived a sober life, there are countless non-alcoholic craft beverages that can be just as symbolic.
Many people now create a signature drink for a memorial gathering, naming it after their loved one or including a meaningful ingredient (like a sprig of rosemary for remembrance).
As we shared in Raise a Glass: The Ultimate Guide to Toasting Life’s Milestones with the Perfect Drink, what’s in the glass matters—but what it stands for matters more.
Creating a Safe and Inclusive Atmosphere
Memorials are emotionally complex. As hosts or speakers, it’s our responsibility to create a space where people feel comfortable to grieve in their own way.
This includes being mindful of alcohol consumption. Not everyone will want to toast with alcohol, and that’s okay. Offering both alcoholic and non-alcoholic options (such as sparkling water, herbal tea, or mocktails) shows respect and thoughtfulness.
It’s also important to consider timing. Toasts are often best placed after formal speeches, during a quiet dinner, or just before sunset in an outdoor memorial. The moment should feel intentional and peaceful, not rushed.
Group Toasts and Shared Tributes
Sometimes, a collective toast can feel more powerful than a solo speech. Inviting others to share short one-liners, stories, or even just names of those they miss can be incredibly moving.
One beautiful approach we’ve seen is the “memory circle” — where each person shares a single thought, then raises their glass in silence. These group tributes honor both individual voices and the community of grief we all share.
Another thoughtful idea is to prepare printed cards with a chosen toast or quote, allowing everyone to read it together. This can ease the pressure of public speaking and bring harmony to the moment.
It’s one of those rituals we talked about in Raise a Glass, where even silence speaks volumes when shared with intention.
Toasting Across Cultures and Beliefs
Every culture has its own traditions around loss and remembrance. In Irish wakes, humor and laughter are often welcomed. In Jewish customs, mourning is more structured and may delay celebration. Some Buddhist ceremonies include chants and offerings in place of spoken toasts.
When planning a memorial toast, consider the religious or cultural background of the deceased and their family. A Christian family might appreciate a verse or blessing; a secular gathering might welcome a poetic quote or simple moment of silence.
Here are a few timeless quotes you might consider:
- “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” – Thomas Campbell
- “What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose.” – Helen Keller
- “Here’s to the ones who loved us the most—and the ones we loved right back.”
Ultimately, the best toast is one that honors them, in a way that’s true to you.
A Life Remembered, A Glass Raised
Saying goodbye never feels easy—but in the simple act of raising a glass, we find a way to hold on. A toast becomes a bookmark in a chapter we’re still learning to close, but also a reminder that love and memory endure.
At Liquor2Door, we’re honored to be a small part of those moments—offering the drinks that carry meaning, the ones that feel like home. Whether you’re planning a formal reception or an intimate backyard gathering, we’re here to help you choose the right drink, the right mood, and the right moment.
And if you’re looking for inspiration beyond memorials, don’t miss our companion piece, Raise a Glass: The Ultimate Guide to Toasting Life’s Milestones with the Perfect Drink—because every chapter of life, including the hardest ones, deserves a toast.
